Purloined Pigtails and Pokeballs
by Squirrely Requiem
Summary: A rich tale of monster battles, friendship, grandeur, tragedy, and of course chaos. Lots of chaos. At least I hope thats what happens. Rated T for mild swears peppered throughout. Chapter 3 is up! No idea when ch 4 will arrive.
1. Prologue

Run standard disclaimer protocol number 151

Disclaimer of non-ownership of the series of Ranma and Pokemon not found.

Run FailSafe protocol- No seriously, they're not mine and I'm not making any form of profit from this.

* * *

Prelude

It's often thought that the gods had a sense of humor when anyone reflected on the life of a certain pig-tailed martial artist. To others, it was thought that said gods were spiteful to all but this one. In reality, seeing as no one directly connected with the aquatranssexual in question actually resided there, the gods were as just bored as...well whatever they could describe as being exceedingly bored. It is this instance which has lead up to the current Saotome's predicament, namely the tried and true story all that who bear interest are knowledgeable of. No one person, not even Genma, could be so stupid as to engage Ranma to countless girls, the occasional guy, or even toss his retirement fund into a pit of starving cats. It just wasn't in the capabilities of the human intelligent quotient. So thusly, it is presented to the reader the strange, though semi-explained, scene that lay before the eyes of the casual Nemerian observer.

A bead of sweat slowly rolled down the face of one Saotome Ranma as he decided to reevaluate the measure of his opponent. His taunts weren't working anymore, it was clear Ryoga had control of his temper and something a fair deal more valuable. He'd have to ask the lost boy later how he'd found it. With the same arrogant smirk he went on the defensive as Ryoga came at him again. Lean to the left. Right. Quick hop over a leg sweep. Pause...and pick it up again with another step to the side, leaps over and again with the side steppin- Wait. 'That can't be right' Ranma thought arching an eyebrow and glancing at Ryoga with a bit of curiosity. The lost boy just nodding. 'Must be something big if he wants to go ahead with that.' thought the pigtailed one once more. Shrugging off his confusion he leapt back as Ryoga initiated the sequence for their departure.

A small number of blocks away, Cologne was currently pogo-ing as fast as her cane would allow her as Shampoo and Mousse were following close behind. "You idiot! Have you any idea what you've given the Hibiki boy, Mousse?" questioned an irate amazonian matriarch.

"Yeah you old ghoul, I've given him a way to finish off Saotome once and for all, finally setting Shampoo free!" replied the almost casual part time duck. He really hoped Ryoga's plan worked, he couldn't take much more of this. Though, in honesty he was amazed at how well this was working out. Those two were damn devious when they put their heads together.

Since the battle with Saffron, the two had actually been working on settling their problems. Ryoga challenged Ranma to another official duel, he lost of course, but this time Ranma was actually there and hadn't been drug off by his father. He even moved on to accept his curse. It did have some benefits that his actual body wouldn't allow. Heck even the problem with Akane had be solved after one particular beating Ranma suffered at her hands. Ryoga had of course witnessed the entire thing, remarked in his defense, and been pounded as well. Good goddess did that girl have issues. Mousse really didn't have any problems with Ranma. As a male amazon, he wasn't allowed to be taught any forms of the art, it was a rather stupid idea honestly. Why would they defect to those weirdo Musk just because they learned how to defend themselves. No, the only reason he fought Ranma so often was to train himself. Of course he knew Cologne knew this, but it wasn't like it mattered to her. She was one of the more progressive members of the tribe after all, it was Shampoo he was keeping appearances up for. No one could seriously fall for that girl, she had almost as many problems as Akane. Actually, now that he thought about it, all of Ranma's fiancées had issues. Maybe he should get out of here as well. 'Wonder if they'll take me with them'

"When this is over I'm getting you fixed!" shouted the surprisingly pissed Cologne, though she knew it really wasn't necessary. The boy's attempts at getting trained were clever enough. Even using Shampoo's freedom as an excuse was worthy of some acknowledgment. Being the matriarch of the village, she held a position of power that they, the villagers that is, all looked up to. As such, she couldn't simply go and break tradition by training the boy. In fact the only reason she got away with training Ranma was because he wasn't even an amazon. Such a position was usually looked down upon because if you weren't an amazon, you were thought to beneath and unworthy of acknowledgment. This had been the case until he had beaten the village's champion with as much ease as a rhino steps on a cat. His "status," or lack there of, in the village had allowed him to be trained by Cologne through a series of loopholes. Mousse on the other hand was an amazon and thus was not allowed to receive training. Which is why she agreed to bring him to Japan. He showed promise, a lot of it. He just needed an environment that didn't stunt his growth in the art. This recent development however was just absurd. She couldn't figure out why he would be so stupid as to give Ryoga the Nanbon mirror. Didn't he know what the mirror did? Sighing again, she couldn't help but think that she was getting too old for this.

There was already quite the crowd, distanced from the fight of course, watching the two artists do their dance when the trio arrived. As the three approached closer, Cologne sighed in resignation as she saw that the Hibiki boy had already drawn the mirror. It was over, there was no way they'd hear her, or even listen for that matter. The Nanbon mirror, the Nanban's second cousin twice removed by baseball impact, was infamous among the village. Although it was never used, the lore behind it was that if enough energy were applied it formed a link to an alternate world. Normally, she would have only had to worry about Saffron using it, hence why she had it in the first place. However, due to recent developments, she was preparing to have it sent back to the village. So it seemed her fears were well founded as the very thing she was trying to prevent was about to happen. She could only watch in horrified fascination as the events played out before her, not even registering that the rest of the NWC had arrived. Then, It clicked. Ryoga wasn't putting out any hot chi, but Ranma was still powering up the spiral. Why? He knew more than anyone that it wouldn't work without a source of hot and cold ch-. It clicked again. He was going to use THOSE. Since his battle with the godling Saffron, he had recently inherited the Gekkaja and Kinjakan, both of which would provide ample hot and cold chi for the spiral. It clicked again. Cologne stuck her finger in her ear in an attempt to clean anything out. That clicking was becoming annoying. It was planned. She turned back to Mousse to see a smirk she'd only seen on one other person.

"Think of something interesting Old Ghoul? Too late for a goodbye party unfortunately." Mousse remarked, noticing that the elder was finally catching on. Said elder could only wonder how the three had become so devious. Whatever retort she had died on her tongue as she snapped her head back and the wind picked up. The two participants were smiling as well.

"HIYRU SHOTEN HA REVISED: FAREWELL PARTY!" Ranma shrugged slightly at the groan from Ryoga and pulled out the elemental keys of ascension. Going through the motions, Ryoga threw the mirror high into the air as Ranma finished the new spiral. The result was incredible...to those miles and miles away. Everyone else that was too close had to close their eyes at the sheer amount of light and energy being created. The center of the twisting elemental storm struck the mirror and it activated. Just as Ranma and Ryoga were leaping towards the mirror, Ranma shot out his hand to intercept a...simple chain? Glancing down, he saw Mousse leaping towards them with the same smirk, Cologne and Shampoo utterly shell shocked. Yanking the myopic amazon up, they vanished into the mirror just as it cracked into three shards, the center jewel popping out, from the intensity of the tornado. As the storm died down, the mirror fell to the ground shattering, leaving nothing but a small prismy array on the ground as the dust slowly fluttered about in the breeze.

* * *

Amateur Author's Notes. 

Yeeeeuuup. I give unto thee, the reader, the prologue to my story. A tale of monster battles, friendship, grandeur, tragedy, and of course chaos. Lots of chaos.

Its currently June. I have no class and no life to speak of. I will try my darndest to update this when possible, though at a reasonable rate. I will also try, even to the point of death, to finish this sucker. It has come to my attention that there appears not to be a single COMPLETED Pokemon crossover with Ranma 1/2. Granted there appear to be one or two that seem to still have authors working on them. It's simply somewhat astonishing. Even if this kind of crossover is few in number. I simply request that you please accept my imperfections. I'm not a genius at dialog, my writings can get wordy, and I may make plenty of mistakes. This is the first fanfiction to make it off my hard drive so please bear with me.

I tried to explain events well enough here, but it may not mesh well. If anyone has any questions, please let me know.

Chances are, this will not mesh with the anime. I've not seen much of the anime past the Orange Islands so there may be some guest appearances, however I provide no guarantee.


	2. Beware the Berries

Purloined Pigtails and Pokeballs

Run standard disclaimer protcol 132  
Ditto is released onto the stage.  
Ditto: Dit Ditto!  
Failsafe Disclaimer: You know the (Bee)drill. I own neither series.

Previously:  
The center of the twisting elemental storm struck the mirror and it activated. Just as Ranma and Ryoga were leaping towards the mirror, Ranma shot out his hand to intercept a...simple chain? Glancing down, he saw Mousse leaping towards them with the same smirk, Cologne and Shampoo utterly shell shocked. Yanking the myopic amazon up, they vanished into the mirror just as it cracked into three shards from the intensity of the storm. As the storm died down, the mirror fell to the ground shattering, leaving nothing but a small prismy array on the ground as the dust slowly fluttered about in the breeze.

* * *

Chapter 1: Beware the Berries 

The sun was slowly rising on the depressing villa of Lavender Town. Many of its residents had long since moved on past the morbid concept of mourning their long lost partners in the looming Pokemon Tower and instead honored their position in Kanto as a place of new beginnings. Being the east most community of the Kanto region, they were often treated to the first rays of light, and treated each sunlight graced moment with their own moments of peace. The tower had not been built for people to gather and mourn their departed friends, instead it had been constructed as a symbol of progress. All those spirits of the dearly departed were able to witness the glorious first rays and move on to the afterlife, to start again.

However, the story begins several hundred paces away from this quaint little town.

Cubone stood there mystified as it watched the object come flying out of the sky. She'd seen such things on occasion what with those humans with R's on them wandering around, but this was just a single one. One that was...apparently heading straight towards her. Letting out a squeak of surprise the Cubone quickly rolled to the side into some bushes mere seconds before the impact. Needless to say the impact could have been a lot smoother as one Ranma Saotome skidded along in the ground for a good distance before finally crashing into a tree. Unable to hold it back, she let out a low whistle at the sheer length of the trench. 'That's going to hurt in the morning' she thought being careful not to reveal her location. She may be lonely but she didn't want some trainer to catch her. That always led to trouble.

"It's always from the sky! Why do I always have to fall? Stupid gravity!" Shouted the irked martial artist while kicking at the air. He'd beat that some day. He'd beat gravity and rub it in it's face! However, that was for later. Quickly gaining his bearings, he looked around to see where he crash landed. "Seems like it worked! I'll have to thank 'im lat...Wait. Where are they?" He looked around desperately, he was sure they would have made as much commotion as he had. "Musta been separated on entry. Come 'ta think of it, I did hear a cracking sound just before I passed out." Shrugging to himself, he made sure his belongings were intact and started to look around. The others could handle themselves, right?

"Hold it right there!" shouted a pair of voices as Ranma was about to depart the area.

"Ummm...yes?" Was the reply as he turned around. Only to be faced with a couple of weird guys in black clothes with R's on them.

"Hand over all of your pokemon and we may go easy on you!" replied the shady guys in black clothing.

'Pokewhozzums' he wondered to himself. "...Hand over my what?"

"Your pokemon! Hand over you- Oh forget it! Raticate! Take him down!" shouted one of the men as he threw a strange ball out.

What happened next was really just too weird for Ranma. The ball stopped in mid-air and released a strange ball of light that took on a distinct shape as the milliseconds ticked by. When all was said and done with, the ball flew back to the owner's hand and a large rat...thing was left standing on the ground looking ready to pounce.

"What the hel-" was all he got out when he quickly had to dodge to the side as the, what did the guy call it again? Oh that's right, Raticate attacked. It didn't let up however.

"Raticate, Hyper fang!" Commanded the man as the Raticate slid to a stop and faced Ranma.

Rolling to the side again, Ranma slowly began putting the pieces together. 'I see...' were his thoughts as he quickly applied his martial arts to, once again, save himself. Stepping to the side, he avoided the overgrown rat's attempt at biting him and followed the step through with a simple kick to the rodent's backside. The result was one astonished, soon to be unconscious rat if the laws of inertia still applied, two shocked thieves if Ranma was right, and one curious yet still unseen Cubone. Rat met tree in epic struggle between inertia and pretty damn solid object. The results of course were one very confused, and unconscious, Raticate. Righting himself, he favored the two men with that same insufferable smirk that so many have lost their temper to before.

Back in the bushes the Cubone had to rub its eyes to see if it was mistaken. Had the human actually taken the Raticate out under his own power? It seemed to be the case as the boy was just standing there smirking, the Raticate remained out of it, and there was still no pokemon representing the smirking boy. The Cubone continued watching with rapt attention as the two men both grabbed their pokeballs. "Koffing! Ekans!" "Take this guy out!" Said the two men in unison. The pigtailed one simply arching an eyebrow. As the battle went on, the Cubone became increasingly interested. She'd never seen a human take on a pokemon by their self. From the looks of it he was winning too! Suddenly, she found herself daydreaming of being this guy's partner. If she could be his pokemon, she could get really strong. She wouldn't have to worry about those stupid Gastly in the tower teasing her. She was broken out of her thoughts though at the shout of another attack. "Koffing, Smokescreen!" commanded one of the men. "Ekans, Wrap him up!" yelled the other.

The Cubone found herself chewing on a nearby leaf as she watched for the smoke to clear, only to be disappointed to see the boy on the ground with the Ekans wrapped around him. Sighing, she ridiculed herself for thinking that the human would last long. It wasn't the boy's fault; nothing could break out of an Ekans' wrap. She could hear the men laughing now. They'd beaten the boy. She should get out of there before they tried to catch her, knowing from personal experience that nothing could escape an Ekans, her own mother had even died against one. Picking up her club to leave, she heard one of the men gasp. Turning back around, she let out a stifled squeak as she witnessed the boy actually standing up. There was also this strange blue halo around him. "Wha- What are you?!" one of the men shouted. She couldn't hear his reply though, too mesmerized by the blue aura he was giving off. 'Humans can do that?' she thought to herself. The pigtailed boy surprised them all when he leapt high into the air and then slammed back down into the ground onto the Ekans' head, effectively knocking it out. The Cubone had to giggle at that, especially the shocked face on the snake pokemon before it met the ground.

The boy peeled the snake off of him and tossed it to the side near the bushes causing the Cubone to let out another squeak as it came skidding to a stop a few feet from the bush. 'Did he really have to do that?' the Cubone thought as she puffed out her cheeks. The effect was lost though as it couldn't be seen. What really got her attention though was when the boy had leapt onto the charging Koffing and sprung into the air with his hands. Then, yelling some unfamiliar phrase, this large ball of bluish energy flew from his palms and exploded against the Koffing, sending it into the ground, effectively out of it. The boy landed in one piece but was breathing a little heavily. 'Maybe I should help him...' giving the Ekans an uneasy glance, she prepared to leap into the slowly halting fray.

Ranma was getting tired. Oh he was having an enormous amount of fun, but still that match earlier took a lot out of him. 'I'll have to finish this quick' he thought before one of the men did brought about the least favorable circumstance for that moment. The man fumbled with the ball before settling his fear down enough to throw it out, not even bothering to give a command. "Meowwwwwwwwth" screeched the cat pokemon as the light once again took shape. In a singular moment everything changed.

While Murphy takes this moment to steal a few bows, lets take the time to cycle through the statistics involved in this singular instance. Its been shown by unofficial poll that out of ten Ranmas, five of them will always chose a red shirt. The remaining five were too disfigured to wear shirts, or at least this particular shirt, essentially guaranteeing a one-hundred percent red shirt rate for all Ranmas at this point in their life. Polls also show that out of ten Ranmas, eleven of them will always have something wrong in their life. Something beyond the normal scope of good-day/bad-day of course. The conclusion that can be drawn from this is that, out of one-hundred and fifty-one different species of pokemon inhabiting the region, the chances of Ranma encountering a cat like pokemon in his first run in is 2.65. Factor in the presences of at least four more regions, the travel rate between them, birth and mortality rates among both pokemon and trainers and then, after all of this is done, crumble your scratch paper and throw it away. If this could be reduced to sheer statistics, Murphy wouldn't be taking his bows. Now on with the story.

The change in the martial artist was instantaneous, and not lost at all on the two men or the Cubone. Noticing the moment of weakness, the Meowth's owner decided now was its chance. "Meowth, Fury Swipes!" it yelled out in increasing confidence as the boy made no move to defend himself, instead opting to open his mouth. What followed next was something that could only be explained by more statistics and then promptly ignored when sheer dumb luck was factored in. Before the two men knew what happened the Meowth was gone and standing in front of the boy was a Cubone.

Realizing that the boy wasn't going to do anything, the Cubone threw the bone it was carrying to intercept the Meowth, striking it dead on and sending it head first into the brush where it wouldn't awaken for several hours. Landing in front of the nigh comatose boy, the Cubone caught the spinning bone as it fell from the air. "Cubone!" it shouted as it glanced back at the recovering boy.

'C-ca-c-ca-c-ca-c-ca-c-ca-c-ca-c-CAAAA-hunh?' was his intelligent thought process as the events finally registered. Glancing down at the weird skull- 'Wait, is that actually a skull...yup.' -ed thing in front of him, he realized that this little thing had saved him. Giving the thing a loving pat on the...skull- 'Wow this place is weird' he started towards the two, now profusely sweating, men. "I'm gonna to pound ya jerks into next week!" he yelled, letting out his aura as he charged forth.

The two men had visibly soiled themselves as they saw the menacing visage of the pigtailed boy, barely having enough time to recall their Ekans and Koffing before they were introduced to new levels of pain.

Minutes pass by...

"Ahh...Nothing like a good pounding to let off some c-c-c-ca fuzzy demon induced trauma." He spoke to no one in particular as Ranma clapped his hands together to get any dirt off. "Now then, what's the story with you?" asking the Cubone as he sat down in front of it. His company just tilting its head in confusion. "Not like ya can understand me though, hunh?" he said chuckling to himself before he saw the strange creature...nod? "You didn't just nod did ya?" The little skull wearer simply nodding again. "Hunh, so ya can understand me?" The little thing seemed to be getting a little frustrated. It was almost like he'd never seen a pokemon before. "Say what are you anyways? I've never seen an animal quite like you before."

"Cubone bone?" Tilting its head once more in confusion. 'Well I suppose that's understandable. Cubone aren't easy to find after all.'

"Cubone? Is that what you are?" 'What a weird place' he thought. "Well, thanks for the help Cubone, but I've gotta run. A couple of my friend are missing and I need to fine 'em" standing up, the pigtailed boy started walking off. He didn't get too far before he noticed the Cubone following him. "Now go on back to your family." but the Cubone simply shook its head and looked up at Ranma. "Now why would you want to stay with a weirdo like me?" The Cubone simply responded by doing some mock punches and kicks only to slip and fall on its tail. The poor thing even lowered its head in shame at the small chuckle its performance elicited from Ranma. Looking down at the Cubone, he quickly held back his amusement at its attempt. Sighing in resignation he lifted its head and spoke up "There there, that was a good attempt! It really was. I guess ya want me to train you?" "Cu Cubone!" followed by a vigorous nod was the response. "Okay then, but let me warn ya, I'm a real slave driver." The Cubone merely hopped back and made to salute Ranma, only to forget it had a club in its hand and knocked itself out. Chuckling at the Cubone's eagerness, he scooped it into his arms and walked off into the forest.

* * *

Meanwhile, in another region of Pokeworld... 

"Miss? Excuse me miss, I was wondering if you might be able to tell me where I am?" Asked the strange boy with the yellow and black bandana.

"Ah, well you're in Golden Rod City sir." replied the Officer Jenny, eyeing the strange kid warily.

"I see...I don't suppose a guy with a red shirt, black pants, and a pigtail has passed through here, has he?" he said, wondering where on earth Ranma could be. Naturally he hadn't seen Mousse join them at the last minute.

"No, I'm sorry sir, I've seen no one by that description. Is there anything else I can help with?" 'Like a dentist?' the officer couldn't help thinking

"Hrmm, could you tell me where I might find a map of the region?" 'Like that'll do any good. Well I'm sure I'll run into Ranma eventually. I mean, how big can the world be?' asking more for pleasantries than actual need.

"You can find one up ahead at the Pokecenter. Just head straight, and then take a right when you see the radio tower." Not noticing the small glance of confusion on the fanged boy's face.

"Thank you." replied Ryoga, walking off in the opposite direction.

Shrugging, the Officer Jenny just moved on.

Time passes...

Ryoga was lost and he knew it. Sure, his faulty inner compass allowed him to see all sorts of things, but it was a really pain when he was trying to actually find something. The wildlife here though was something especially note worthy. There were strange squirrel looking things standing on their tails, Weird little red plant things with ferns growing from their heads, and at one point he even saw a massive blue cat just sleeping on the water. This place was really just bizar- "Gah!" was the intelligent yell as he ran into something large and furry. Sapping his attention back to the world around he was confused at first. All he could see was a large yellowish circle in a patch of brown fur. Then, under a great sense of oncoming dread he slowly rose his head until he came face to face with a rather large, rather irate, bear. Looking down, the lost boy noticed that he had stepped in a distinct amount of...berries? '...uh oh' Slowly raising his head until he was looking at the increasingly irate bear, he carefully stepped back. Squish! 'Oh boy...' Noticing that the bears eyes were glowing red, the part time pig did the only logical thing at that moment. He ran. He ran and screamed the first thing that came to his mind. "RANMA SAOTOME! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Achoo! Ugh, 'scuse me" said the startled Ranma.

"Cubone!" was his partner's response.

"Ah thanks, now lets get back to work!" he replied, rubbing his nose and getting back into his stance

---------------------------------------------------------------

Professor Elm had seen many interesting things in his life, he had seen the rise and fall of champions, witnessed the amazement of some of the region's legendary pokemon, and had even seen someone fight an Ursarang with his bare hands. 'Wait. Where'd that last one come from?' He thought until the scene in front of him finally registered. 'Angry Ursarang? Check. Teenage boy? Check. Pokemon battling on boy's behalf? ...Pokemon battling on boy's behalf?' Glancing around for any sign of a pokemon, conscious or otherwise, the good professor found none. Returning his eyes back to the sight before him, he couldn't help but marvel. The boy was actually fighting an Ursarang bare handed, and doing well.

Ducking to the right to avoid a punch, Ryoga couldn't help but smile. This was fun. It was actually kinda fun fighting with a bear. He'd have to pound Ranma later for even giving him the chance to have such an absurd thought though. Leaping back he noticed the bear was doing something funny holding its mouth open like it was going to roar but nothing came o- wait. 'Is that light collecting in its mouth?' Oh boy, this wasn't good. 'Play time's over' he thought as he tried to figure a way of not being hit by what was beginning to look like a death ray. If the fur being singed around the thing's mouth was any indication, that thing was hot. He could deal with blunt concussive force, maybe even a some piercing blows, but energy was a whole different ball game. Being hit by a boulder didn't give you resistance to any sort of heat. Deciding to end it, he started charging towards it. 'Only got one chance at this' he thought as the thing seemed to be finished charging up the beam.

The professor's eyes did a lovely imitation of the bone china plates back at his lab as the Ursarang started charging up a Hyper Beam. He tried to get the guy's attention, but he was just too enthralled to hear him. Seeing as the Ursarang was about to fire it off, the professer leapt behind a tree so he wouldn't get hit. Peaking around the side of the tree, he couldn't help but gawk.

Dust was his wake as Ryoga skid to a stop in front of the surprised Ursarang. A fanged grin, the trademark shout of "BAKUSAI TENKETSU!", and a kick to the bear's chest was all that was needed to send one very confused Ursarang sprawling to the bottom of the new crater and firing off its Hyper Beam skyward. Righting himself, Ryoga dusted off his hands as he surveyed his handy work. "Hunh, I might just enjoy it here after all." he said as his dusted his clothes off, seeing as the bear wasn't going to be getting up any time soon. Grabbing his umbrella which had ended up in a tree after the bear had, surprisingly, deflected it, he started to walk off until he thought he heard someone.

Considering the boy and favoring him with a curious stare he couldn't help but speak up "Excuse me sir! Hey! Wait up! Aren't you going to catch that pokemon?"

"Hunh?" came Ryoga's witty reply as he turned around and saw the professor standing there. At least he looked like a professor, not too many people had he seen wear a long white coat.

"Aren't you going to catch that Ursarang?" This was strange; it was like the boy hadn't a clue what the he was talking about.

"Ursarang? Catch it?" Ursarang? Is that what they called bears here? And how on, well how on wherever the hell he was now was he supposed to catch something that big. In fact, why would he even want to? "You mean that bear thing? Why?"

"Yeah, the Ursarang. You did knock it out after all" Okay, so he could understand maybe not knowing what it was, even if he was the outdoors type. But not even bothering to catch it?

This was strange, now this guy was saying he should catch it because he beat it in a fight? That sounded familiar. "Even if I wanted to, any idea how? I mean the thing's pretty big."

Oh, maybe the guy's out of pokeballs "Well I have some spare pokeballs if you need them."

There's that word again. "Pokeballs? What's a pokeball?"

Hunh, are there any new trainers scheduled for today? Pulling out his calendar, he could see that today was indeed clear of any engagements asid- 'Oh crap! Oak's supposed to drop by my lab!' Putting the planner away he pulled out a spare pokeball. "Hey listen, are you a new trainer?"

"Trainer?" Well that's strange. Is the world one big circus and all the people merely animal trainers?

Sighing the professor just expanded the pokeball and tossed it at the Ursarang. "Look, I have an engagement I must attend. It seems that you have some questions and if you're a new trainer then I'm the person to talk to in this region. Just come along and I can give this back to you later." Picking up the Ursarang's pokeball.

'What the hell?' was the singular thought in his mind until he noticed the guy leaving. "Eh, nothing better to do." quickly catching up to the professor.

Hours later...

"Well, this place sure is weird" remarked the Hibiki as he and the professor entered his lab.

"And your claim isn't? You're lucky I even believe you really." was the professor's reply. Really, he was tempted not to believe him, but the display earlier with the Ursarang really gave the whole incident some plausibility. "Regardless, what are you planning to do now?" Not that he had to ask, he had an idea of what the guy had planned. Nothing.

"Ah, well. I was just going to wander around I suppose until I found Ranma." He really didn't have any better ideas. Though he supposed he should probably at least try to fit in some, he didn't have any of the proper paperwork, and red tape was such a hassle.

"I thought as much." Really, what kind of person pulls this kind of stunt without a plan? Let alone two people. "I have a proposition for you. While I understand that you have to search for this Ranma, there's a distinct problem with this. Society, even the entire planet, revolves around one thing. Pokemon. You don't have any. You're not even a registered trainer. You've no family or relatives of any sort here. My proposition for you is to stay here." holding up a hand to forestall any comments he continued. "Stay here and become my assistant for a while. I'll teach you everything you need to know to not stand out, and provide you with room and board. In return, you help me around the lab and outside. Tending to the pokemon and all. Then, after a few months, you can leave in search of your friend; maybe even take on the League challenge. What do you say?" smiling, Professor Elm stuck out his hand.

Glancing from the professor's hand, to the kindly smile on his face, and back to his hand, he came to a decision. "I accept your offer professor." he replied and shook the professor's hand.

"Glad to have you aboard. Now then, your first task is to clean up the lab and collect the starter pokemon for the new trainers. Once the lab is clean, let me know. We'll be having a guest later. Oh and here." he said, tossing Ryoga the pokeball from earlier. "I believe this Ursarang is yours."

Staring down at the red and white orb in his hands, he smiled and went to work. He couldn't wait until he saw Ranma again. He'd beat that cocky smirk off his face for sure.

* * *

Meanwhile, in yet ANOTHER region of the Pokeworld... 

"Ooooogh my head" groaned the familiar long haired myopic boy. His vision was still a little blurry, but that was probably because he wasn't wearing his glasses. Trying to right himself, he noticed a nurse sitting next to his bed.

"Doctor! He's waking up." the nurse spoke into the intercom by the boy's bed. Really, this boy was amazing. He shouldn't have been waking up for a few more days after that kind of an impact.

"Good. I'd like to have a few words with him" spoke an ominous voice from under a red hood with horns on it. The nurse jumped as he walked into the room, talk about nervous. "Relax, no need to be in such a panic, nurse."

"But sir, he's not in any condition t-" a doctor spoke, attempting to intervene only to be cut off.

"Silence! Can't you see he's recovering faster than you thought." the hooded figure said gesturing to the boy. Something about the man's eyes made the hair's on the boy's neck stand on end.

"Excuse me, could any of you tell me where exactly I am?" queried the bed ridden teen as he adjusted his glasses.

Grinning like a cat the figure pulled back his hood and spoke up. "Why, you're in the Team Magma infirmary. I'm Maxie, and I'd like to ask you a few questions..."

* * *

AAN:  
All I ask is that you bear with me, the writing, dialog, and descriptions will improve as I continue. Eventually I'll come back and rewrite this to bring it up to standards. Also, to answer a friend, this will not be akin to Flowers for Algernon. Ahem. Anyways, on with the notes. 

And here we have Chapter One. My writing kind of shifted a bit as I delved deeper into the chapter so the style might have changed just a tick. Hopefully its not so horrible as to be unbearable. As far as I can tell thats all thats worth mentioning. I'll leave you to guess about the reasoning behind the pokemon choices here.

Sneeze cliche? Check.

Next time on Purloined Pigtails and Pokeballs:

"I'm Ray Marksworth and I challenge you to a one-on-one match!"

"So, you got a name?" The boy seemed to be taking this remarkably well. Nodding his feathered head, he etched his name into the dirt. "Bill?"


	3. Farfetched Farfetch'd

Purloined Pigtails and Pokeballs 

Run standard disclaimer protcol 122  
Mr. Mime is released onto the stage. Now repeat after me Mr. Mime. "Own not do I the series two."  
Mr Mime: "Mine Mime!"  
Failsafe Disclaimer: You know the (Bee)drill. I own neither series.

Previously...

"Now why would you want to stay with a weirdo like me?" The Cubone simply responded by doing some mock punches and kicks only to slip and fall on its tail. The poor thing even lowered its head in shame at the small chuckle its performance elicited from Ranma. Looking down at the Cubone, he quickly held back his amusement at its attempt. Sighing in resignation he lifted its head and spoke up "There there, that was a good attempt! It really was. I guess ya want me to train you?" "Cu Cubone!" followed by a vigorous nod was the response. "Okay then, but let me warn ya, I'm a real slave driver." The Cubone merely hopped back and made to salute Ranma, only to forget it had a club in its hand and knocked itself out. Chuckling at the Cubone's eagerness, he scooped it into his arms and walked off into the forest.

* * *

Chapter 2 Farfetched Farfetch'd! 

Lavender Town once more bore witness to the eradication of the final vestiges of the night as the residents began to awaken from their slumber. Proverbial paint brush met eternal canvas as the sun rose and peaked, gracing the quaint little town of lavender with its divine rays of light. The image was once more a glorious picture perfect moment that would have stunned anyone who witnessed it.

Pity that one Ranma Saotome, and the accompanying Cubone, were currently too far into the stages of REM sleep to appreciate it. Be that as it may, had they been conscious, they were a good deal away from Lavender Town to even be graced by the sun's stray rays. In fact, it could be said that they were in fact much closer to the bustling Celadon City. Also unfortunate for the pigtailed part-time girl was the sudden meeting of his face with some strange form of purple projectile weaponry. Needless to say, the result wasn't pretty; the, excessively, loud response it elicited shall be left out for those of delicate minds.

When all was said and done with, one irate martial artist, one still sleepy Cubone, one slightly miffed boy, and one extremely freaked out Nidoran now occupied the clearing. "What's the big idea! I was sleeping there you know!" pointed out the first, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. In the process of his declaration though, he managed to snap the second member out of their partial sleep, managed to tick off the third member somewhat more, and finally managed to succeed in snapping the fourth member out of its stupor.

"I believe that's my Nidoran you're holding" replied the boy coolly. "And what's with you anyways? You weren't even sleeping in a tent."

It was true. He hadn't been in a tent. Really he didn't even have a tent on him. It would have looked a little odd had he been fighting Ryoga with a travel pack on his back. Nidoran he called it? Looking at the purple spiky...thing in his hands, he noticed for once how nervous it was. 'Poor thing must've scared it spitless.' he thought while setting it down on the ground and watched it run back to the boy. He must have really spooked it. The Nidoran seemed to be shaking even more as it hung by its trainer's feet.

"I'll deal with you later, now back in your ball." muttered the boy as he recalled the Nidoran. A feat which still amazed Ranma despite having witnessed it thrice since his arrival. "Hey you, what's your name?"

"Me?" he replied, pointing to himself as though there was someone else in the clearing. Wait who else could he be asking, of course he means me. "Uhh Ranma Saotome. Heir to the Anything Goes School of indiscriminate Grappling. Who're you?"

"I'm Ray Marksworth and I challenge you to a one-on-one match!" This guy looked like an easy challenge. Maybe he'd even get a bit of pocket change out of it. Not likely though considering the guy didn't even have a tent.

At the mention of that simple phrase, Ranma's entire demeanor changed to his typical casual stance while he measured up his opponent. This kid doesn't look like much, but he's probably packing some crazy martial arts I've never heard of. "Eh. Sure, why not" he said stepping forward.

After a few minutes of standing there Ray was getting ticked. This guy was making a fool out of him. Geez, you'd think from the way he was acting it was like he was going to fight himself. "Well, aren't you going to send out your pokemon?"

Pokemon? Hunh, there's that word again. Wonder if he means the Cubone. Glancing down at his partner, he could see it was itching to test some of its training out, it had only been a day since he began but the training had been going well. Shrugging he stepped back and allowed the Cubone to take the stage.

"Cubone Cu Cubone!"

"A Cubone hunh? Then I choose Bellsprout!" Throwing the pokeball out, a Bellsprout materialized and awaited his orders.

"Well that's not weird or anything." muttering to himself as he waited for something to happen. The Cubone merely standing there twirling its bone around waiting for Ranma to shout an attack name. The Cubone was still rather confused when it came to Ranma. For one, he had yet to actually catch her in one of those pokeballs. For another, he really did seem oblivious to the concept of a pokemon battle. Sighing to herself, she turned her attention to the Bellsprout. She'd have to take things into her own hands.

This guy was really getting on his nerves. He was just standing there waiting for something to happen like he didn't have a clue. Either the guy was a brilliant actor or, oh screw it. "Bellsprout, Razor leaf!" "Sprout!" Complying with its master's command, it shot two leafs forward at its opponent, who was paying attention now and simply leapt over the leaves, letting them fly past and embed themselves into a tree. Th-Thunk! Well that was new, but nothing he couldn't handle. What was strange though was this, Ranma did he say? Yes, Ranma. He seemed to be more interested in the leaves than the battle. What's more was that the Cubone seemed to be acting of its own accord. Didn't this guy know what a battle was?

Looking at the leaves in surprise and pulling one of them out, he couldn't help but notice that they were ordinary leaves now. How had they even managed to stick themselves into a tree? They had certainly been much more solid before. Returning his attention to the battle at hand, he couldn't help but ask. "Hey can you do that too?" The end result was a distracted Cubone who's head was promptly introduced to the Bellsprout's root-like foot. The seconds ticked by as the two held that position. Then, managing to gather its wits, the Cubone staggered back some and swatted the Bellsprout away with its bone club. This was a strange place. Seriously, where was the fun in letting animals fight for you? Much as he might hate to admit it, he needed some help. Badly.

"Bellsprout, Stun Spore!" he heard the guy shout only to watch as the Cubone traveling with him got a face full of some weird powder. Well that can't be good. The boy seemed to be commanding the Bellsprout around like he owned it. Looking down at the Cubone, he couldn't help but wince as he noticed her looking back up at him, as though it were pleading for some assistance. 'Oh I think I get it...' thinking to himself. As the Cubone remained struggling, the gears in his head slowly started to move.

"Cubone!" Oh boy, this wasn't good. She had a bad feeling as to what was coming next. Struggle as she might, she just couldn't move. This was really going to hurt.

"Cubone! Just relax. Remember what we've been practicing." It had only been a day or so since he met the Cubone, and they had trained during maybe half of that time. What he had taught it really only stretched into meditation technique along with some simple forms for fighting. The ideas behind ki could really be summed up in one simple, three word phrase. Mind over matter. Though strictly speaking this was a boiled down, barebones explanation of it, in truth it was the practice of the use of one's mind to control the latent energies around and within one's self to manipulate matter, through direct or indirect application. If one focused enough, one could influence and interact with the matter around them and bring about different results than would occur under "normal" circumstances. In this case, if it could focus well enough, it might be able to remove some of the paralysis effect in time to save its hide. At least that's how he saw it.

"Solarbeam!" Leaping back, the Bellsprout began drawing in sunlight.

'Well now that's interesting' he thought as he watched the lines of ki and sunlight coalesce in front of the Bellsprout's mouth. At least he thought it was a mouth. As Cubone continued to focus on its escape, Ranma focused on the Bellsprout's "solarbeam" as the kid had called it. The Solarbeam seemed to be a collection of solar energy with minor applications of ki to provide adhesion so it wouldn't just explode or pass on like it would normally do. 'Looks like its about finished.' "Move it or lose it Cubone, that thing's done chargin!" he informed his partner as he stepped a couple of paces to the side so he wouldn't be fried.

For the Cubone, time slowed down. For all of its worth, she couldn't focus. How was she supposed to focus with that stupid plant charging up that kind of attack? Straining as she could, she tried to recall exactly what Ranma had done the day previous when he was training her.

-flashback-

_After a brief meal in a clearing, the two had made their way to a nearby stream for some special training that she was going to get. She couldn't help but feel anxious, but she still wondered why he hadn't caught her. Not that it really mattered to her; she could definitely do without being stuck in one of those pokeballs. "Here we are" she heard him exclaim as they arrived at the edge of the stream. What was so special here that they couldn't manage at the clearing? Sure it sounded nice listening to the running water, but... "Now you're probably wonder'n why we're here" Giving him a nod, he continued. "The first and most important part of any art is focus. If you can't focus on your goal, you become distracted and clumsy, which can lead to, among other things, losing. More importantly, focus is needed for the deeper parts of the art, namely that of ki manipulation." Holding out his hand, he formed a ball of ki. It was amazing, the swirling blue mass of coalescing energies mesmerized her. How was a human able to perform such an act? Hearing him cough, she pulled her attention away and back to the grinning Ranma. "Ki is, for all intents and purposes, the energy of life. The very force of your will made solid. Well, for the most part." Her life? Wouldn't such a thing be dangerous? "Everyone and everythin' generates ki. Most living things apply ki, even if in the most subtle of fashions for various things. As such, everything regenerates the expended ki as well."_

_"Now then, try to form a ball of ki in your...errr palm." Holding out her arm, try as she might, she couldn't do what he had done. "Difficult isn't it? My guess is you just don't know where to look. You don't know what to do or how to do it. However, there's something interesting with you, and If I'm correct, all the other creatures similar to yourself. You may not realize it, but you already use ki. That is to say, you use a substantial amount more than the average animal or plant. You already know how to apply it, its just all on a subconscious level, which while it may seem like a good thing, can lead to dangerous results." Seeing the Cubone's eyes widen, both at the fact that she was using it and that it could prove dangerous to do so, he continued. " What we need to do is to teach you how to apply it on a conscious level so you don't inadvertently drain yourself. And to do this, you need focus. This can't be learned by a simple lecture though so let's sit down."_

_The two sat down and Ranma once again began his explanation. "Now then, for the time being, we're just going to focus on the basics and work on the basic ki control techniques. starting with the simple meditation exercise..."_

-end flashback-

However, as she had found out it wasn't quite as simple. He left the Cubone to meditate while he tried to fight the air. It really had been distracting and by the end of the day, she hadn't been able to clear her mind at all. What a pain. Sighing in frustration, she tried again but was once again mesmerized by the ball of swirling energies the Bellsprout had collected. It seemed kind of similar to the "ki ball" Ranma had formed, almost like she could see the tendrils of ki seeping from the Bellsprout to hold the collective together. Then there was a shift in the energies, instead of a mass of swirls, it all seemed to focus in on a single point before exploding outward in front of the Bellsprout. Maybe...maybe that was it. Closing her eyes, she focused on a singular point within herself and found a similar swirling mass. She left herself to imagine the swirling mass of energy envelope her, brushing off the paralysis powder. Instantly opening her eyes she leapt to her feet, not even noticing the glowing deep blue halo of light around her or the Bellsprout's owner's response to what was happening. Instead, thinking on her feet, she grabbed her bone club and started spinning it like a baton, spinning it counter to the rotation of energies in the beam seemed to be spinning. Closing her eyes, she braced herself for impact. 

Ranma was impressed. At first he had been impressed with the sheer power of the technique the Bellsprout was using, but it really wasn't all that much more than one of his Moko Takabisha. Granted the energies used were somewhat different, but it wasn't all that new. Now the Cubone's reaction on the other hand was something interesting. Though it seemed to be doing it driven by her determination to not be fried, it was still quite astounding. Similar in form to the spiral, but not quite. The result as the beam hit the counter spinning club was spectacular. The effect was actually quite similar to the Hiyru Shoten Ha's tornado except instead of rising into the air it spread out like a shockwave. Nearly bowling Ranma over at that as he barely had time to evade the expanding energy wave. He'd definitely have to work out the finer mechanics later when this was all over with. 'So that's how it is. With the two counter rotational forces meeting like that, its causing the beam's energy to be diverted off to the side in a even manner. Cubone seems to be running out of steam though.'

Panting, Cubone held her focus as she kept up the rotation. She wasn't sure how much longer she could do this though, she was really about to drop. Thankfully, the beam seemed to be slowing down some.

Ray had to shield his eyes as the Solarbeam barreled into the Cubone. Smirking to himself, he couldn't help but think that he had this in the bag. That was until he tried to sneak a peak at Ranma's reaction, only to notice that he was wearing that damn insufferable smirk, however that wasn't what caught his attention. It seemed his Bellsprout's Solarbeam wasn't even hitting the Cubone! The Cubone was shining a deep blue and actually seemed to be deflecting the beam off to the sides. But...it couldn't do that. Since when did Cubone learn psychic attacks? Since when could a simple Cubone stand up against a Solarbeam! Ground types were weak against grass types, weren't they?

When the beam finally died down, the Cubone couldn't help but give its own smirk. That had gone better than she thought. She didn't have much energy left, but she figured she could at least knock that Bellsprout out of its misery since it was just standing there looking stupid. Well, as stupid as it could look. Giving a strained throw of her bone, it went flying off just as she collapsed. Thankfully impacting the Bellsprout between the eyes knocking it out as well. She could really use a nap.

Ranma was there the second the Cubone began falling catching her before she hit the ground. "Well, it seems we have a draw" the boy made no attempt at hiding his immense distaste at the moment. "I don't know how you cheated like that. However I can guarantee you one thing _Ranma Saotome_. The next time we meet, I will beat you. I swear on my word as a Marksworth. I won't lose to you again, and you can count on our meeting in the future." Blah blah blah. Geez this guy just goes on and on and...Wait a second! Dammit, he was already gone. "Oh great, _another_ rival. Not even a week in a new world and I have yet another guy after me for some great wrong I've done" He couldn't help but just sigh. Really he didn't have a clue what just happened, or really the significance of it all. After all, how could he have known that he just defeated the region's pokemon prodigy? Sure, he didn't actually win, nor did he really have a clue what the whole battle was about, but the fact that he had annihilated the boy's no-loss record was going to haunt him for a long, long time.

"Well Cubone, you did an amazing job." he said sitting next to it and checking for any injuries. Thankfully, the little critter wasn't really all that hurt. It was just exhausted. 'Not surprising considering its inexperience at handling ki.' He had seen several ways during the match that the Cubone had wasted its ki, but that was alright. She had finally learned how to consciously tap into it. Now she just needed rest.

* * *

Several hours later... 

Cubone was currently resting under a makeshift blanket Ranma had made while he himself was currently stoking the fire to keep himself warm. The sun was almost down and he was rather hungry. However, he didn't want to leave his partner here to fend for itself. She was too weak at the moment and if something happened, she wouldn't be able to defend herself. Thoughts of hunger were fueled by a sudden quacking noise from overhead. Eyes skyward, he noticed a strange looking duck like animal with a leek in its beak flying overhead. 'That might just do...' he thought while cycling through his list of techniques trying to decide the best way to bring his dinner down. 'The Moko Takabisha might fry the thing, and I'm in the mood for a stew really.' As he grabbed a small pebble he started judging the trajectory he'd need to hit it. As he found the sweet spot, he prepared to throw the small rock when it was suddenly knocked out of the sky by a larger brown bird. Well that saved him the trouble. As he traced its path, he started towards its landing spot which, thankfully, wasn't too far from his impromptu camp. If he hurried, then she wouldn't be in any trouble.

Moments later, a smiling Ranma returned to find the Cubone still out of it. Maybe the smell of a duck soup would wake it up. Hell, the duck was even nice enough to bring a veggie with it for the stew. Ranma may not have had a tent, but that was only because it really wasn't all that necessary. Well, that and he had to make compromises to fit the ascension keys in his hidden weapon's space. He did however always have on hand some pots for cooking. He could always build a shelter; he couldn't go without eating though. That and roasting things tended to get old. Quick. After setting up the pot and adding some water, he dunked the bird and it's leek in and sat back. He figured the bird was probably dead after having hit the branches on its descent. As he thought back to the battle earlier, he couldn't help but wonder how the Cubone had managed to even come up with the concept. Even entertaining the idea that it might have nigh human intelligence, HE hadn't even thought of something like that. He would definitely have to toy around with the concept later, a technique like that might actually convince him to use a weapon. Oh joy! The water looked like it was starting to boil.

Meanwhile, through a different perspective...

'Good grief what a nightmare' thought Bill as he slowly, but surely shook off the last soothing fingers of the sandman and regained consciousness. "I had the strangest drea-" he had started to say only to stop when he looked down to see himself in a pot of near boiling water. More importantly, his self in feathers. Of course, he hadn't noticed that human speech had been replaced by a series of quacks. "Dammit, it wasn't a dream." Still not registering that his speech was still an odd series of quacks. As he heard a startled voice, he looked up only to see a disappointed pigtailed guy looking at him, as though he were trying to decide on something. That's when it hit him. Human? Check. Nigh boiling water? 'Ooo this would be so nice if it weren't a pot and I wasn't what I think I am.' he thought. Check. Fire? Yeah, check... Time stood still for the two as their eyes locked. Nothing moved even the slightest bit in fear of setting off some sort of time bomb, well save the fire. Then, Hell broke loose.

Ranma swore for not the last time as he ran around trying to catch his dinner as it took flight around the clearing. Normally this would have been an easy task, but this duck was particularly persistent and damn clever too. He had thought the thing to be dead, but apparently all these pokewhoozits had an amazing amount of stamina. He had been sitting there, trying to think through the technique the Cubone had pulled off earlier only to have it all come to a grinding halt when the duck woke up. Needless to say it wasn't happy. Ranma had tried to get there with the lid before it could escape, but the thing had knocked over the pot just as he had come running. Knocked it over into HIM. Which really wasn't all that bad, but now his pants were wet. Wet pants that would soon become COLD wet pants. Cold wet pants sucked. So here he was, chasing the duck around the clearing trying to knock it out so he could have a meal. Was that really too much to ask? If he hadn't known better, he would have thought that the duck had just gotten his wings today. That was absurd though. Wasn't it?

Cubone awoke to a curious sight that would forever remain in the top ten of its funniest things ever witnessed list. The makeshift camp was a mess. There was a fire going in the middle, a pot on the ground its water having long been returned to the ground, and Ranma was currently chasing a Farfetch'd around the clearing while complaining about being hungry. Also of note were the wet pants. The Farfetch'd's cries were incomprehensible. Suddenly, the Farfetch'd swerved and Ranma ran head first into a tree. That wouldn't stop him long, he'd be back up. That's when the Farfetch'd started doing something strange. It grabbed its leek, which Ranma had neglected to cut up, and started writing in the dirt.

Bill was getting ticked. This guy was damn persisten- whoops tree! As soon as he swerved to the side to dodge it, Ranma came barreling past and into the tree. Ha! That should keep him down for a while. 'It's a bit of a long shot, but it seems my only choice' Bill thought as he grabbed his leek. He idly noticed the Cubone was awake now as he started writing his message in the dirt only to be grabbed from behind as Ranma had apparently recovered faster than he had anticipated. Letting out a quack of fear, he couldn't help but think of the irony in his fate. Here he was, a prominent pokemon enthusiast and researcher and he was about to be eaten by some lost trainer. If he ever got out of this he was going to become a vegetarian. 'Hunh, That's strange, he's not moving.'

'OW!" Gods that thing was clever. It was a shame since he was definitely going to cook it now. Getting fed up with the duck Ranma invoked the sealed technique of the Umisen-ken and quietly snuck up behind the duck, only releasing the technique when he finally had it in his grasp. Of course things changed the second he looked down at it, only to see what the little bastard had tried to write. 'I'm human!' It was a simple message. Normally, that is had he been any normal person, he would have disregarded the message as some ploy. However he KNEW better. He had spent the last year or so fighting a guy that changed into a piglet, hell he even knew someone who became a duck with the addition of cold water. Eyes widened at the implications and he tentatively glanced down at the duck in his hands. "Mousse?" The duck looked at him curiously and shook its head. Hunh, not him then. "Ryoga?" Eliciting yet another answer in the negative. "...Well this is awkward." The duck simply nodded. Ranma blushed a bit when he glanced over at the spilled pot near the fire. "Ya uhh.. Sorry 'bout tryin to cook ya." Did people here change into animals at will? He watched as the Cubone wandered over to the text the duck had written into the ground and looked back at him curiously. "Are you really a human too?" he asked the Cubone. It would explain a lot really, but he only got a curious arch of what seemed like a brow and shake of her head affirming the negative.

After the boy had set Bill down, he couldn't help but wonder why he was even buying all of this? Sure it really wouldn't have been the first thing a Farfetch'd would take the time to write, if it could even manage the letters, but it was still a little well, it was a little farfetched. "Trust me, this ain't nothin. I've dealt with lots stranger" the boy said looking down at him. "So, you got a name?" The boy seemed to be taking this remarkably well. Nodding his feathered head, he etched his name into the dirt. "Bill?" the boy asked looking over the duck's shoulder. "So your name's Bill?" Ranma asked the strange duck like pokemon in front of him. For some odd reason it was carrying the leek in its arms like a sheathed sword. "Well, I don't know how you got like that, but is there anythin' I can do to help?" 'This is going to get tedious all too quickly.' Bill thought as he etched another message into the dirt. "So you wanna join me, is that what you're askin'?" Ranma asked, getting a nod from Bill the Farfetch'd.

And so hours later...

With the Cubone resting again, Bill and Ranma were sitting around the fire. Bill slightly farther away due to some recent bad experiences he had never thought he'd actually have. This day had been the worst day ever. It had begun simply enough, he was working on an experiment of his at his house. The next thing he knew there was an explosion that screwed with some of the finer parts of the machine. The explosion had, predictably, set it off and had somehow caused him and his Farfetch'd to swap bodies. It wasn't all bad at first. That had, of course, been before he realized that Team Rocket had broken into his house looking for some pokemon. Also, apparently, they wanted him for some task. He didn't hear all of it, only something about cloning and ancient pokemon. He doubted they would succeed, but at the moment he hadn't been interested. Instead, he had been trying his damndest to avoid all the attempts they had made at catching him. Finally, he had been forced outside, which turned out to be even worse. At first, he had been flying around trying to avoid the Rocket members and their pokemon when, out of nowhere, this Fearow had tried to dive bomb him! The bird was persistent at that too, and in order to escape, Bill had to fly off. Needless to say, he had ended up flying all the way past Celadon City trying to escape it when it finally managed to clip him with a Wing Attack, knocking him out of the sky. The rest, of course, wasn't any better. Sighing again, he laid down. How was he going to get his body back? Maybe he could get Ranma's help. He seemed like a capable trainer. Had he any clue what-so-ever, he would have known that this particular train of thought was about to derail and collide with the very thick wall of reality.

"Hey Bill!" receiving a quack from his pokefied companion, "I don't suppose you managed to spot a town while you were up there?" He was glad to see him nod. That was good, as much as he loved the outdoors; he at least needed a sleeping bag. The ground really was uncomfortable and he wasn't about to try and cook anymore of the wildlife. Hell, after today's experience, he might even become a vegetarian. "Good. For now let's get some sleep, we'll leave for town around noon. Also, I have a few questions for you before we get there. This place is really confusing" Though he really only muttered the last bit, Bill still managed to hear it.

'Wonder what he means by that' he thought as he felt himself slowly succumb to the sandman's grasp once more. Not even registering the shooting star passing over head.

* * *

In yet another change of scenery... 

Dusk had since descended on the Kanto region, blanketing the area in a clear veil of darkness as the sun's light died down and the stars began once more their dance across the proverbial canvas. The bustling cities had yet, of course, to tone down the lights. However, the tiny villa of Lavender Town sat by as it watched the rise of the moon over the gloomy Pokemon Tower. Dawn in Lavender Town was always a pleasant event, visually stunning and yet calming. The same could be said about the evening. The moon rose and reached that perfect point, casting a mild shadow off the tower as the residents started retreating in doors. Atop the tower the Gastly and Haunter gathered to watch the stars do their cosmic play. All collected gasped at the passing of a shooting star it was really impressive in that tiny community with so few lights and so far removed from larger places. Collected among the Gastly and Haunter was a single humble little Caterpie. A single, humble, tearful little Caterpie. Its owner had abandoned it at the tower earlier, claiming that it was too weak to bother keeping after seeing the Haunter in the tower. 'It's really true' thought the little caterpillar. The Caterpie hadn't evolved yet; it hadn't even become a Metapod. It didn't know why, but its trainer apparently thought it too weak for not evolving. Looking up, the Caterpie saw the shooting star pass overhead, and just couldn't hold back. With tears filling its eyes, she made a wish. "I just wish I could help someone." it spoke, granted it came out as nothing more than a few squeaks; but that didn't matter. Finally, feeling the day's events catch up with her, she drifted off. Letting her dreams soar high.

* * *

AAN: I must say, in honesty, writing this is a great deal more entertaining that I thought it would be when I first began. That isn't to say that I was expecting it to be boring. I just wasn't expecting the time to go by so quickly while writing it, I'm having a large amount of fun with this work of fiction. I realize that the chapter is a great deal, if not entirely, Ranma-centric. The primary reason for this is the basis of the grand, overall plot for the Kanto arc. Which will, admitedly, be Ranma-centric with occasional appearances by Ryoga. Regardless, the spotlight may be shared soon. Either way, whether you like it or not, no one's forcing you to read this. Hell, I doubt I could PAY anyone to force someone to read this. 

Also, I would like to apologize for the excessive wordiness of this chapter. I realize that its a veritable text wall and simply ask that you bear with me. Remember, he's still in the outskirts and has only encountered three actual people.

Now then, concerning developments in this chapter...

In regards to Mr. Marksworth, Ranma needed a rival. This much is clear, Ranma is always in need of a rival. Besides, you couldn't really have expected him to slip into a new world and not make any enemies with his foot-in-mouth disorder.

In regards to Bill. I realize that in the game he actually became a Pikachu. In honesty though I just didn't want a pikachu with Ranma. Well, that and I was looking for an ideal pokemon that wouldn't evolve. Besides, how would a pikachu have traveled from the cape North of Cerulean all the way to the outskirts of Celadon? For that matter, why? A Farfetch'd may not make much sense either, but oh well.

In regards to the Caterpie. Everyone say it with me. D'awwwwwwwww

Next time on Purloined Pigtails and Pokeballs:

"Oh my! What happened to your Cubone?!" Ranma couldn't help but stare at the Nurse Joy who seemed to be radiating all sorts of similarities with Kasumi.

" Hey Professor! What's with the train tickets?" Ryoga asked as he set the bag of feed down, making a mental note to order some more.

"Yes, lets. Perhaps you can tell me of these 'Pokemon' you've mentioned as well." This Maxie appeared to be well intentioned. However it was Mousse's experience that well intentioned people were just as dangerous as the ill-intentioned ones. Especially with what he had seen of Akane's cooking.


	4. Scanning the Greenhouse

Chapter 3 : Scanning the Greenhouse

* * *

The sun had long since risen in the land of Honen. For those select few atop the roof in Ever Grande City, it was a spectacular sight rivaled only by the experiences they had witnessed. It truly had been an amazing sight as the sun rose over the vast expanse of sea, stretching far into the distance for what seemed an eternity. The sight was made all the more stunning as a pair of Wailord breached, shooting water skyward. Naturally, none of this was witnessed by one male amazon who was currently at one of the more unpleasant locales of Honen, namely the crater of Mt. Chimney. 

Mousse had started to get a little restless from being cooped up in the Magma infirmary, and it hadn't lessened all that much when they had finally let him out to wander around. Oh sure there had been a heated debate (pun not intended) over letting a stranger wander around the base. He didn't understand what exactly they had to hide if their cause was so grand and just, but that didn't concern him. What did concern him was the story the Magma leader had told him. He had assumed it to be nothing more than such of course. They couldn't really expect him to believe that either of the two had actually died. Hell, Ranma had fought a freakin phoenix and he had survived. Even Ryoga was built like a tank. So here he was, traipsing about the crater of the volcano looking for any signs of his friends. Well, there was his landing trench at least. 'Ouch, no wonder I was out cold.' Glancing at the deep trench leading up to what seemed to be a small rise in the crater wall, a rise that had been hardened several times over by the heat and pressure of the geothermal temperatures before being forced skyward by some mild tectonic shifts. Continuing his inspection of the crater, which he'd have to leave soon as he started to notice the heat from the magma down below. He had been using his ki and a version of the Soul of Ice technique, though not nearly as perfected as Ranma's, to keep him from overheating, but he was starting to get tired. Best finish this up quick. Climbing down one particularly steep ledge, he stopped in his tracks as his body suddenly found it could last much longer, his blood having run cold at the sight not far from his position.

"Sir!" Maxie turned from his position overlooking the crater to see who needed his attention this time. "We have the results on that energy analysis you wanted of that guy." Maxie merely smiled as he looked over the results. This boy may prove useful yet. However, if what he said was true, then he was just the tip of the ice burg. "Good work. Now then, I want you and the guys down in the works to run a scan over the entire region for similar signatures. If you can't find anything, expand the search to the other regions. If he's telling the truth, then we're on to something big. I want us to be the first to find these other two. Now go! Time is of the essence." The guard scampered off allowing Maxie to return his gaze back to the long haired youth calling himself Mousse. Only to have the time to look shocked as he received a furious punch to the abdomen. 'Crap...He's a lot more clever than he lets on.'

Mousse was furious. Those trenches in the crater weren't from Ranma and Ryoga. Sure they had been man-made but not actually by a person's impact. They had been made as a diversion, maybe to even lead him to believe that his friends were dead. Oh he'd show that smart-ass Maxie. Seeing as this was his chance, he dashed at him just as the grunt turned his back and Maxie was turning back to face him. Oh he'd give him something to smile about. "Who the hell do you think you're kidding?" He yelled as he sent the Magma leader sprawling into the ground. "Those trenches were clearly made less than a day ago. They weren't even made by a person!"

Maxie swore to himself as he struggled to stand up. This was going to get messy real quickly if he didn't run damage control. Amending his to-do list to make sure he properly punished the idiot he made dig the trenches, he winced a bit when he caught sight of Mousse's eyes. Cold fury. Not the uncontrolled rage he had made Maxie initially think he was in, this was a purely controlled state of unbridled fury. He was glad he had such a talent in reading people, it had saved his tail more times than he could count. "I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid what you stumbled on was most likely the trail of a Graveler rolling into the magma for a nice bath." It was true for the most part. If his suspicions were correct, then the man he had make the trenches had probably just had a Graveler slide down the crater.

"A...Graveler?" Was that what they called laborers in this world?

"Ah yes, that's right. Graveler are a part of the collection of animals in this world that we call 'Pokemon.' In particular, they're made primarily of solid rock and tend to enjoy a hot bath just as much as anyone or anything else. What you found was probably the trench it dug as it slid in to the magma. I do hope you didn't think it an attempt by me to deceive you." Of course he thought it was, and he was right too. Still, this guy could kick him around seven ways to Sunday. What Mousse didn't know, didn't hurt him. 'Or me...' he thought idly as he tenderly rubbed his abdomen. This guy was deceptively strong.

Oh dammit. He was starting to react like the Hibiki boy. That just wasn't good. Here he was in a new world, and one of the first things he does is blow his top. On a volcano at that! Maybe he should have stayed with Cologne and Shampoo. Seriously, what had he been thinking joining Saotome and Ryoga, he didn't belong here. "Ahem." Oh! Whoops, considering the curious glance Maxie was giving him, he had probably been talking out loud. "Ah. Well, I suppose if that is the case, then I owe you an apology." It was true, the tracks couldn't have been from anything human, the residual energy was similar to ki, but had a different twist to it than the usual human ki. "I guess I just flew off the handle there. I'm really not used to dealing with situations like this on my own."

Maxie stared a bit longer to drive the point home to Mousse. "Well, its okay. Takes a bit more than a punch to take me out." He boasted, hoping to instill a bit of confidence in him. "That is to say though, that's not a challenge." Oh boy. He did not envy the guy who was to get on his . bad side. 'Best to play it safe, I can't be careless around him.' "What do you say to continuing this discussion inside, Mousse?" He wasn't all that hot. Granted he currently lived in a volcano, but still. Mousse, however, was literally drooping. Clearly he wasn't used to the heat.

"Yes, lets. Perhaps you can tell me of these 'Pokemon' you've mentioned as well." This Maxie appeared to be well intentioned. However it was Mousse's experience that well intentioned people were just as dangerous as the ill-intentioned ones. Especially with what he had seen of Akane's cooking. Besides, everyone had ulterior motives. No, he would keep his eyes open, even if Maxie's intentions were of a good nature.

* * *

Panning over to the region of Kanto once more, we find a currently irate Ranma Saotome standing atop a cliff face overlooking Celadon City. The reasoning behind the pigtailed one's ire was quite simple. Murphy's Law had kicked in again with a spontainious rain shower along the way through the forest. The result had been one part shocked Farfetch'd, one part confused Cubone, and one part cute, wet, and busty red head. She had been doing so well too. Two days without having been splashed, only to have it happen moments before she did something of mild importance. Well, she'd show Murphy. She'd show him real good. "Hope the ice cream vendors brushed their teeth..." muttered a grinning Ranma. A grin that frankly scared Bill to no end, like a sense of impending doom. Funny though, it felt like it was distanced for some reason. 

Bill had actually just recently snapped out of one-sided conversation with Ranma about the implications of his arrival. Ranma had found it best to inform her new pal-turned-pokemon of certain circumstances surrounding the martial artist, hoping that she might get some help from him. Of course, upon hearing about all of this, Bill was sent into researcher mode as he began discussing the implications and sorts of her arrival in this world. None of which was actually understood by Ranma who was almost wishing she hadn't said anything. The only thing she had to listen to up until the surprise shower was the constant quacking of her feathered tag-along. Then it hit the fan. Now, she was glad the two had calmed down. Ever since the shower, even the Cubone had been talking. The two seemed to be having some sort of conversation and it rather annoyed her since she knew precisely what it was about. She imagined she was going to be reading through an absurd amount of writing after she picked up the notebook for Bill. Not that she could fault either of them, but that didn't mean she had to like it either.

- flashback -

He just keeps going on and on. It can't really be that big of a deal, can it? "Hey Bill, I understand that your amazed, but can ya keep it down? The quacking's gettin annoying." It really was. It might be different if he could actually understand Bill, but facts were that he was currently a duck. And hearing a duck's quack ad nauseam wears itself out. Too soon at that. He couldn't help but glance down at the abrupt silence he was getting from him. He wasn't really expecting him to quiet down so quickly. What he saw instead was the duck just glaring at him, then turning his head and...looking downcast? He couldn't really tell, it was hard to determine the emotions of a duck via facial expressions. Seeing as Bill was duck, and he hadn't a clue how to reverse it, Ranma still hadn't gotten any of his story. 'Probably thinking about it.' he thought, not noticing the sky thundering not too far away. "Hey listen, we'll figure out some way to fix this. I promise, we'll find a way to change ya back!" Bill only barely nodding.

Cubone was somewhat confused at the strange Farfetch'd claiming to be a human named Bill. She had tried to talk to him earlier when Ranma had told him something about being from another dimension, but he was too absorbed in his own confusing techno-babble. Now however, he was just quiet and kinda sad. It was so depressing seeing him so sad. Walking over, she put an arm on his shoulder, trying to cheer him up, only to have it shrugged off and watch him become slightly more depressed. Suddenly her ears perked up. 'Oh! When did that happen' Casting a glance skyward, she noticed an excessively blackened sky. "Cubone! Cu Cubone!" she suddenly spoke out, pointing her bone to the sky. Sadly it was moments too late as by the time Ranma looked up to see what the problem was, it was raining.

"...Dammit." swore the petite redhead as she ran quickly for some cover. She had been doing so well too. Though the faces on her companions were priceless. Practically drowning in the somewhat sudden downpour, they just stood there gaping at the obvious occurrence before them. Bill, being the logical one, simply stood there gaping while waiting for Bill OS to reboot. Cubone merely shook off her shock and tensed up a bit. Could this be Ranma? She didn't know humans evolved, he even had those squishy things on his chest that a lot of humans had. Breasts, she thought she had heard them called.

Cubone barely registered the end of the flash shower as she cautiously stalked towards the boy-turned girl. Even as Ranma tensed up mildly, she leaned in and...poke! Poke poke. They were real! Wow! Her trainer had evolved somehow! Thinking about what she had heard, she made a note to herself to address her trainer in the feminine from now on. After all, it wouldn't do to continue referring to a Gyrados as a Magikarp, nor any other pokemon, so of course the same would apply to humans.

...This was absurdly familiar. "Um...Could ya please stop that?" Really, did it have to poke her so hard? Those little claws hurt too! The Cubone was giving her a curious glance now. Oh boy, this was going to be awkward. "Ah well. Ya see, it's the result of a training incident. 'Cause of my idiot pop, I got knocked into the 'Spring of Drowned Girl.' Now, I change into a girl, just add cold water. Dumbass panda..." Even though she mumbled the last part, the Cubone still perked its ears and heard it.

'What does a panda have to do with drinks and drowned girls?' thought the excessively confused Cubone as her trainer set her aside and went to help jump start Bill OS. Quite literally at that seeing how he went flying into the air after she whispered something into his ear.

Now something noteworthy of these leek wielding fouls is the design of their noses. Farfetch'd have awkward olfactory orifices and, although you couldn't really tell it, Bill was sending a fresh supply of blood right through them.

'Oh yeah, he's definitely human. And male.' She could only roll her eyes at the attempt Bill was making to not think about certain things. "Okay, that's out of the way. Lets get going again"

- end flashback -

"You're gonna have ta lead me around here, Bill. Ain't got a clue what ta do really." She really was lost as to what she needed to do.

'She- He- IT might actually be able to help me after all!' was the thought running through the researcher's mind as his attention finally snapped back to the picture before him. Celadon City. This was going to be quite the different experience. With a few, still somewhat clumsy flaps of his wings, he took a position on Ranma's shoulder and down they went.

* * *

Currently, while one pigtailed newcomer was venturing into the city of Celadon, the part-time piglet and full time assistant was becoming increasingly frustrated. "Get back here you stupid crocodile!" came the cry of the bandana clad man as he chased a Totodile around the front of the lab. Professor Elm simply chuckled at the sight before him, it seemed the Totodile got along with him well. He remembered when the little hell spawn had first arrived and tried to bite his arm off. Watching Ryoga duck under a water gun attack meant to complicate matters more, he just chuckled more. Maybe the Totodile was just looking for a pork dinner instead. Ryoga's curse had been an interesting revelation. Didn't hurt his claim either. He had asked Ryoga to bring the Totodile in so they could take him to the Pokecenter for his weekly check-up. Of course, neither him nor the Totodile had expected Ryoga to turn into a little black piglet. Nor had they expected said piglet to calmly walk into the lab, take a hot bath if the sounds were any indication, and come back, human again, covered in a towel to retrieve his clothing. They had long talk after that. Just so the good professor knew what he was getting himself in to. 

Ryoga swore mildly as he ducked under a water gun attack from the Totodile. "That's it!" he growled and took out his umbrella. Charging toward it, he raised the umbrella to deflect the next water gun he fired. As he skid to a stop, he peaked over the umbrella and knocked the Totodile upside the head. Grinning smugly at the ko'ed Totodile, he simply picked it up and placed it by its bowl.

" Hey Professor! What's with the train tickets?" Ryoga asked as he set the bag of feed down, making a mental note to order some more. After having done some mild work on Akari's farm, he was doing quite well as the professor's assistant.

"Well Professor Oak, the man you met the other day, will be holding a seminar in Saffron City in a few days. I thought it would be best for the two of us to attend. You might be able to learn some things I'm not able to teach you." he said, handing Ryoga a train ticket.

"Saffron City?" Well this wasn't good. Long distances. This would be the real test of his directional curse. The curse which, for some reason, wasn't really affecting him anymore.

"Oh that's right. Saffron City is in Kanto region to the East. We'll have to leave for Golden Rod early so we can make the train in time, but it should work out." Ryoga had told him of his directional curse, but he had yet to see any actual proof of it. That is, it wasn't that he didn't believe him, it just didn't seem to be as big of a deal as the boy had made it out to be.

"Now then, as we'll be traveling to another region, we should take some precautions. In the event your directional curse decides to act up while we're there, you will need some form of identification. I have assembled this for you for just the ocassion." He spoke up with a small smile. To his right was a simple desk with a small briefcase on it. What was of importance however was what was inside the open briefcase. Namely a small red rectangular object with numerous small, red and white orbs sitting next to it. "In the event you get lost, it would seem strange for others were they to find that you're not a certified trainer. So, I present to you your very own Pokedex and a small supply of pokeballs."

Ryoga's hand trembled slightly as he opened the protective lid of the pokedex. "I am dexter 2.0, registered to certified trainer Ryoga Hibiki. If lost and found, please return to Professor Elm of New Bark Town." "Th- thank you professor!" He was actually happy! It really was a new start for him. A chance at a different life.

"You're welcome. Now then, what do you say we get back to your studies? That may say you're a certified trainer, but there's still a lot for you to learn. For today, we'll focus on pokemon battles." He simply picked up one of the starter pokemon set aside for new trainers and walked out to the back yard, Ryoga following.

* * *

Ranma-chan was somewhat happy, despite being in company that was emoting adverse feelings. That being, Bill and Cubone were merely gaping in shock at the quintuple scoop of ice cream the part-time girl had flirted out of that poor ice cream vendor. Bill imagined the vendor would soon be needing a dentist after Ranma's act. " So Bill, what's next? Should we head on to the Pokecenter or just walk around town some mo-" only to be interrupted as she heard a familiar voice 

"and then he sends out this crappy Cubone. Even cheating the guy couldn't win, I beat him hands down." the boy bragged. the girls around him swooning.

"Oh Ray, you're such an awesome trainer! I wish my Bellsprout was as good as yours. It can't even do a proper razor leaf!" Said one of the girls around him

Peaking around the corner, she couldn't help but twitch at the sight she saw. That Marksworth guy was just standing there surrounded by swooning girls. He even had the gall to lie about his victory. Oh sure, it had been a draw, with his Cubone having technically passed out first. Still, it wasn't a victory for him. Since they had arrived in Celadon, she had run a few errands, running Bill to the nearest ATM to withdraw some of his money for supplies, getting him a few notebooks to make communications easier. She had even picked up the basics of pokemon battles while they were eating lunch. Which consisted completely of salads. After their recent experiences, the two of them had declared that they were not ready to try eating meat again. That wasn't important at the moment though. Right now, she had to hold back the urge to gag as the girls just hung all over him. Then she got an idea. Glancing at her Cubone, she could see that it was ticked as well. Receiving a nod from the Cubone, she stepped forward.

"Oh really? Thats not how I saw it." shouted the red head as she walked up to the crowd's epicenter, the mass parting to let her through. "From the way I saw it, the battle ended in a draw!" The crowd gasped.

"Is this true Ray? Oh say it isn't so!" said one of the girls in the crowd.

"Of course it isn't! And where were you during that battle anyways to have seen such a thing? No doubt from too great a distance to see the actual result." Who was this girl? Had she actually seen the battle? She was kinda cute though, and that red hair was definitely odd. Was that her Cubone with her?

"Oh naturally! How about this, we settle it with our own battle. If I win, you tell them the truth. If you win-" but she was cut off.

"If I win, you'll go on a date with me." The crazy gleam in his eyes only served to amplify the sense of de-ja-vu.

Growling a bit, she simply gestured for the Cubone to join them. She had dealt with people like him, and no matter what you said they would just keep insisting. She just needed to beat him into a pulp. "Fine. It'll be a one-on-one match!" Oh she would win. She'd wipe that smirk off his face.

"Fine then, I'll choose Bellsprout. By the way, should not I know the name of my date?" The Bellsprout materialized on the ground looking as though nothing had happened.

"Don't think you've won before the battle's even started. Even still, the name's Ran-" She caught herself. "Er, RanKO Saotome." Wow that was close. She needed to be a bit more careful here. "Come on, Cubone. Lets wipe that smirk of his face." Cubone was of course already waiting, just as eager as Ranma for a rematch.

The two pairs stared each other down as they waited for the signal to begin. "Annnnnnnnnnd...BEGIN!" shouted the girl playing referee.

"Bellsprout, Vine Whip." Moving in close, the Bellsprout complied with a barrage of whipping vines aimed at the Cubone. Of course, the Cubone had learned its lesson from last time and kept its distance from Bellsprout, batting the vines away with her club.

"Cubone, Improv!." It wasn't really all that special of an attack, only a way for the Cubone to think up its own methods of attack In other words, she was on her own.. Pounding her club on the ground to disturb the rocks, she started hitting them at the Bellsprout as they fell back to the ground. Unfortunately the Bellsprout was just too limber and managed to avoid all of the rocks. "Cubone, close the distance." What? Why did she need to get closer? She thought they had established that it needed to be handled from a distance. Turning back to her trainer, she noted Ranma's face. It was the same face he/she used when he/she was training her. She wasn't just Ranma when she was like that. She was analyzing every little detail. Nodding, she charged in.

"Ha! Bellsprout, Stun Spore!" "Bell-SPROUT!" it shouted as it shot a cloud of spores out of its mouth to intercept the Cubone. What happened though was unexpected. "Cubone, jump it and show him what your club looks like up close!" Bellsprout could only watch in horror as the Cubone leapt over the cloud and came hammering down on it with her club. "Bellspro-" it managed before it got an unpleasantly close view of the Cubone's club. Minutes ticked by as the crowd eagerly waited for something to happen.

When it finally did, it manifested itself in the action of a knocked out Bellsprout falling down, giving off a small puff of dust when it impacted the ground. The entire collective, minus the annexed Cubone and Ranma, bore naught but astonished stares at the downed Bellsprout.

"Sh- She won..."

"With a single blow..."

"Ranko Saotome..? Is that what she sai-"

"But...he's a prodigy!"

"FARRRRRRFETC-"

"Quiet down you stupid duck!"

The last two lines perked the interest of the only assembled members not currently stunned. "Oh crap! We forgot about Bill!" Few registered the red head's departure. Those remaining simply watched as Ray fell to his knees as he returned his Bellsprout to its pokeball. Those waiting for something to happen were shocked yet again when a simple phrase escaped his lips. "Cute..." Some of the girls watching could only puff out their cheeks and walk off.

Ray was shocked to be certain. He had lost. Ray Marksworth had lost. In public at that! This however wasn't what bugged him. No, what was bugging him was that he couldn't bring himself to be angry. For the life of him, he couldn't even smolder. What was worse was the image burned into his mind. The image was none other than a smiling Ranko with the caption of "cute." Oh sure, he was constantly surrounded by girls that would die for a chance to be with him. They were all half wits though. None of them could beat him in a match. 'Wonder if I'll see her again" was the only thought as he returned to the Pokemon center, ignoring the crowd of chattering girls.

* * *

Where was that damn thief? Really, who steals a live duck in the middle of a city in broad daylight? "Dammit Bill, where are you?" muttered the red headed blur as she sped through the streets looking everywhere for someone suspicious. 

Under the fruit stand? No.

Behind the obscenely large advertisement of some old doctor guy? No.

Under h-Whoops! "Sorry lady" came the reply to the lady's indignant shout as the red head sent the girls skirt fluttering. "Maybe I should put a collar on him..." thought the red head, continuing her search through the streets of Celadon. .

* * *

Meanwhile, removed from the bustle of Celadon City, a large balding man with a red R emblazoned across his chest was tying a Farfetch'd's bill shut while scouting out a small greenhouse. "There." It was creepy, it almost looked as though the duck was pleading with the man. It couldn't do that though, it was just a pokemon. Just some dumb animal. "Now keep yer trap shut while I get to business. Ekans, go!" The pokeball flew from his hand and stopping just short of the ground released the snake pokemon from its confines. "Now listen here, I want ya to go on inta that greenhouse and swipe any pokemon ya can. Only swipe them if they're in their pokeballs though. You know the procedure, get to work!" With that, the snake slithered off towards the greenhouse. His Ekans was the best, all the speed and stealth of a- well a snake with him for the trainer. The Ekans would go in and swallow any pokeballs it might find. It was so simple, yet so ingenious. This was really going to get him in the good graces of the boss, swiping a gym leader's pokemon was always a good thing for him. Sure enough, moments later the Ekans came slithering back. Though, to the Rocket's disgust, there only seemed to be a couple of pokeballs with it. "What's the matter, was that all you could find?" The Ekans simply gave a low hiss. "Well out with it, spit 'em up already!." He'd had to do some more...training...with the Ekans so it knew to get more next time. Grabbing the pokeballs, he threw them out to see what his prize was. 

"Oddish dish!" "Tangela"

The Ekans never saw the kick coming as he went flying into the tree. The rocket member merely glared down at it in disgust. "You worthless thing! Its just some crappy Oddish. The Tangela might be worth something, but the Oddish might as well just be taken back!" Giving the Ekans another kick for good measure. Once he was finished with the Snake, he turned back to the two gym pokemon. "Now what to do with you worthless things..."

"How 'bout returning 'em"

"Well that's a stupid id-" eyes widening, he spun around to find himself face to face with a busty red headed girl and her Cubone. Oh thank the gods, he was afraid it might have been the cops.

"You have something of mine, dirt bag. I'll give you five seconds to return him." The red head's eyes were scary and, if he hadn't known better, he could have sworn she had a blue aura about her. The Farfetch'd made to dash her way, but he barred it'd path.

"Sorry girly, fat chance. Though I think I'll be takin that Cubone of yours." Feh, he didn't even need his Ekans, for this.

Her left eyebrow twitched just barely at that comment. This bastard was going to get it. "Girly hunh? Well, there goes your chance. Cubone, watch closely." Without another word or response from the Rocket, Ranma was at his heels in an instant, giving him a vicous uppercut and knocking him skyward.

"What the hell?!" How had she moved so fast, the only thing he had ever seen move so quickly was some yellow pokemon. He couldn't recall its name, but that wasn't important. "Wh-what's that?!" She had that blue aura about her again, and some of it seemed to be concentrating in her hands. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as she said something he couldn't hear, then all he saw was a bright blue light as the forms careened towards him and exploded. -

"Double Moko Takabisha!" was the cry as the twin stars of her confidence blasted off impacting the thief and sending him into the horizon. The Cubone, wide eyed throughout the spectacle, couldn't help but wonder if she could do that. To think that even her trainer could use pokemon attacks was amazing, but to think that she might be able to teach her, was even more so. She wasn't sure if she had been seeing right, but it looked like Ranma had used what, earlier, she had called Ki in an offensive manner by syphoning it out of her body. It didn't look too difficult, but then neither did simple concentration.

Bill on the other hand was just in shock. Who was this Ranma? Granted she had come from another world, but this?! Could everyone in her world do this? He didn't even notice the shout of "Stun Spore!" from a newcomer until it was too late. "Dammit!" grunted Ranma as she struggled to move. She hadn't even sensed the girl approaching, but taking a look at her now, it was no surprise. She was almost like Kasumi, with that feeling of utter peace surrounding her. "What was that for?" Why her? Seriously, did she just exude mistrust or something?

"You thief! You thought I'd just let you take my pokemon? What was that explosion just now"

"That was ME getting rid of the thief. He took Bill over there" nodding her head towards the Farfetch'd at this "and had been trying to decide what to do with those two" nodding his head once more, this time in the direction of the Oddish and Tangela "when I arrived"

At this, she turned to her Oddish and Tangela. "Is this true?" "Oddish!" "Tan!" The two responded, nodding in unison. ..Crap. She had been so sure this girl was the thief. Geez what a mess, she needed a break. "Oh, Sorry. We've all been rather high strung as of late. There have been an awful lot of thefts lately, you can imagine we're eager for it to end"

"Yeah, that's okay." Finally managing to figure everything out, he worked past the stun spore's effects and slowly stood up, eliciting a gasp of surprise from the lady. "Hey, how do I get these two out of this Stun Spore thing"

"Wha-?! Bu-? How"

"Hunh? Oh, it takes a lot more to keep Ranma Saotome down!" poking her thumb at her chest in her typical display of confidence.

"Now, about these two..." She gestured to the Cubone and Bill.

"Uhhh...Oh! Well, I'm out of paralysis heals, so you'll need to take them to the pokemon center. Here, I'll help you carry them. It's the least I can do." The Farfetch'd seem to act a little strange when the lady picked him up, almost looking a little red. Resisting a chuckle at Bill's position, Ranma picked up the Cubone and Ekans.

"I'mma take the snake with us. It was the thief's but it still looks pretty beat up." With that, the two of them headed off towards the Pokemon center. "Oh hey, by the way, what's your name"

"Oh! So terribly sorry about that. My name is Eirika"

* * *

Pewter City - 

"Hey, Mack! I hear you got a new pokemon, what'd ya get?" waving down the young man, he walked over and slapped him on the back.

"Hi Jim. Well, I might not keep it. Its a little weird." Squirming a little, he fiddled with the pokeball his new pokemon was in.

"Well it can't be too bad, besides its a new pokemon. Lets see it!" How bad could it be, a new pokemon was always a good thing.

"Oh alright...Just don't laugh." He tossed the pokeball out and the familiar materialization took place. "Oh man, is that what I think it is" Mack said, barely stifling a gasp.

"Wigglytuff!" "Mack could only drop his head in resignation as his friend Jim rolled around on the ground with laughter. "WigglyTUFF." Mack glanced over at the bizarre pokemon he had come across. It had become even more bizarre inflating in anger at Jim's laughter. The Wigglytuff looked so large in fact, that he though it could almost serve as a trampoline.

"SOMETHING SOFT GET IN MY WAAAAAAAAAAAAY" "Hunh?" Looking up he saw what appeared to be a man falling from the sky. No, that couldn't be right... "Holy crap! Jim look!" Sure enough, it was a man falling fro- WHAM! Nevermind. He was grounded.

"Dammit." The man swore. "Just couldn't hit the Wigglytuff, could I? OW! Hey stop it" Stupid pokemon, kicking a man when he was down.

"Hey Mack, I think he's a Team Rocket member!" rolling the man over onto his back, his suspicions were confirmed by the large red R on his chest. "Hey you're right! Lets go get the police!. Wigglytuff come on!" "Tuff!" As they ran off, the man simply grumbled.  
"Crap"

* * *

Celadon City Pokemon Center- 

"Oh my! What happened to your Cubone?!" Ranma couldn't help but stare at the Nurse Joy who seemed to be radiating all sorts of similarities with Kasumi. What was it with all the Kasumis here?

"Well, hand it over, I'll have the three of them right as rain in no time." Ranma put the Ekans and Cubone on the trolley

"So Ranma, what brings you to Celadon?" the two of them sat down in the lobby while they waited for Nurse Joy to return.

* * *

-AAN: 

First up, I don't suppose a profuse apology is acceptable? Believe it or not, half of this chapter was ready a couple days after the posting of the previous chapter. I really had trouble writing this one for some reason. Writer's block or whatever you call it, I'm sure its quite obvious. To be frank I find the latter half of the chapter to be annoyingly stiff, awkward, and nonsynergetic (...is that even a word?) with the rest of the chapter. I shall try better, but obviously I can provide no guarantees. That is, other than the completion of this story.

Second up, pertaining to romance in the story, that may prove to be difficult, if it turns out to be ovely cumbersome and awkward in the story itself, then I'll leave it with the ideas of relationships as opposed to blatant expression.Once again, I apologize for the obscene delay between these chapters. Hopefully it won't happen again.

I've already decided on four pokemon for Ranma. Assuming he has but six, then feel free to suggest some. Try to keep them in the original 150 range, and if not, then at the very least nothing beyond Jhoto. I may or may not use your suggestions, it depends on if I have any other ideas. Hell, he might even have more than six.

Also, I seem to be lacking the knowledge of how to format this properly. What a pain.


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